Focusing in on how best to make positive changes that stick.

In this episode I’m going to rearrange an old standard “how to change” model and give it a 2020 upgrade. It’s called the Transtheoretical Behavior Change Model - TTM for short, also referred to as the Stages-of-Change Model meets the Tao of Transformation in Redefining What’s Next Coaching.

Models for change are supposed to be easier but I swear the general philosophy around this well established model of change is the opposite. As I read through, committing it to memory, 3 themes emerged to me, a little different, or maybe not, from the original intent:

Change is hard and unpleasant. No need to make it easier.
It means something bad. Whatever you were doing before deciding to make a change must have been bad or why would you change?
Imposed change works. “We swear it does!” Just keep trying to impose what you believe to be right for someone else that doesn’t agree with you, or worse, isn’t even thinking about it, and they’ll come around. “Trust us! We’re experts! We know what’s best.”

There is a better, easier, and dare I say fun way to go about change.

Heading into 2020 surprised by my own resolution. Prompting inspired action to make each our individual worlds a better place. By doing so, we make our whole world a better place.

How to make change a reality worth getting excited to create and step into without having to remember to be different?

As someone that has always been a little different, I’m up for the challenge and want to champion for anyone wanting to up-level their experience by their own design but are stuck in their next step.

Heading into this year I realized I love it when a plan comes together. If you connect the reference to the 80’s TV show the A-Team, you get points. Not just any old plan though. The big, bold, sweaty palms, not sure this is gonna work, but I envisioned it so here we go kind of plan coming together. I don’t know whether my love of having a hair-brained idea, deciding to go for it, and then making it come together came from the A-Team or my sense of adventure mixed with procrastination but heading into a new decade, I’m excited to see where it leads.

A sort of happy accident happened a few months ago. More like 5 years ago but who’s counting? I decided on a whim of being invited out of healthcare management and into unemployment to make the most of my new found free time by helping my mom do a lot of things that were different for her and difficult at the time: recover from a health scare, battle an increasingly stressful career, remodel her house, and wrap her head around actually retiring. All while being the definition of modern woman that can do anything on her own. I don’t have to wonder where I get it from. I also no longer wonder why it took awhile to work together effectively. We’ve always celebrated well together though. Helped us come up with consistent accomplishments to toast to.

I’ve had many a hair-brained idea over the years but deciding to become a fitness trainer during that time, especially now, 5 years later, seemed a particularly obscure one for me in retrospect. What was I thinking? That I didn’t see myself as a personal trainer, even though I had the idea to become a certified one, shook my confidence. The subdued compromising result was a group fitness trainer certification instead. Something I still have yet to use, in a traditional sense, 5 years later.

Stubbornness, stronger than any identity crisis I may have along the way, is what kept me completing my continuing education credits(CECs) until this last year.

When push came to shove, time quickly running out to complete my CECs, I scrolled my options on the web and kept landing on the personal trainer certification sign-up page. I could get my personal trainer certification and fulfill my continuing education all in one fell swoop, so why not just hit the purchase button now?

Maybe the exact 3 month deadline to the test that happened to end up being the very last day of 2019 should have been a clear warning sign not to hit the purchase button.

Not for me! Sign me up!

This experience has become a true testament to a plan coming together because I set my test date for the last possible day to complete my CECs so my New Year’s Eve party ended up being at a testing center.

Good thing I passed!

So now what?

What does a personal trainer that’s actually a transformational coach, that’s also a certified health coach do with a brand spankin’ new certification under her belt?

Get moving!

Dive into a few of the more inspirational, at least to me, aspects of what I just crammed in my noggin. The parts of reaching our human potential that stand out as ready for a 2020 update.

The TTM change model seems imposed. Like something that happens to us more than we ignite within ourselves. The “experts” have to know by now that imposing change on another person just doesn’t work. It’s a good reason why so many people have really negative feelings around change. It’s because we have taught ourselves change is something we have to do and not something we want to do by our own choosing.

Maybe a different sort of personal trainer and health coach can provide a new take to help both people caught in this seemingly endless struggle between the change maker and the change agent. Information that when transformed may shed new insight, helping anyone looking to make a change easier in their life by redefining what’s next and demanding to take their next step on their own terms. Having a support system with the expertise and openness to ignite the brilliant spark of an idea, helping to energize it into existence.

The fancy new name I’m giving my update is the fulcrum of change. The point when personal change is empowered within us and we can listen, gain clarity, and use this point as a catalyst for whatever we may want to be different in our lives now and take action bringing it into reality.

The NOW PART and the PERSONAL PART are SUPER IMPORTANT if you need some encouragement to continue reading or a sign to stop if you’re not interested in how to make change easier for either you or someone you care about.

BRIEFLY, THE BASICS OF THE TTM MODEL IS A 5-Step Sequence FOR CHANGE THAT GOES A LITTLE SOMETHING LIKE THIS WHEN Ripped Apart BY ME:

Precontemplation. Might be my favorite stage because it is the stage that is not a stage at all. The stage in which someone isn’t thinking of change in the least. Not interested. Not a thought of change is entering their mind. They are blissfully living their life with no intention of change. People all around them; their family, their friends, their co-workers, experts in NOT doing whatever they are doing have zero effect on them. It’s a beautiful stage once you know about it because you can really get into the headspace of someone you think needs to change, something I think we all can relate to doing or having experienced. The brilliant idea created for someone else - with all the best of intention - it’s imposed though - the “I know what’s best” idea of change that just doesn’t work. But why? Because of what I can now fully appreciate as the pure bliss of doing something, no matter how misguided, or “bad” others may deem it, without a care in the world. It’s an amazing realization. My neighbor furious at me for not pulling my weeds and I’m over here admiring all my dandelions. The inspiration I gain from the precontemplation stage is that the very well intentioned idea WE may have about how someone else SHOULD BE doing something, or living their life, no matter how good our intention is doesn’t work. What does work, is showing. Living by example. Being the change you want to see. The ability to stop worrying about what other people are doing because it frees up all kinds of time to work on more important matters - like your own good stuff. Never has something freed up more headspace or time in my life than implementing this gold nugget of wisdom. And for the precontemplator; you don’t know what you don’t know or what you don’t want to know because it’s probably a scary thought and seems big, hard, painful, or worse, uncomfortable. I’ve got the perfect thing for that! Keep reading!
Contemplation. This is the fulcrum to me. The self manifested idea for something new. An idea has come to mind. A new idea. Something different. Ideally something positive. I’ll stick to the script on this one. A positive new idea of change has come to mind. Going from blissfully unaware to aware. From not being interested in change to embracing it and wanting to embody something new. This is a momentous occasion in anyone’s life. It can be anything - this was a personal trainer training so the areas of health apply. In transformational coaching lifestyle and any of the the “Big 5” apply(health, love/relationships, money, career, something greater than self). For me, smoking cigarettes applies nicely, I didn’t think about quitting until one day I DID and I could never make that thought go away again and it made smoking less enjoyable and I still smoked on and off for 10 more years! The fulcrum for change is the vast difference, the night and day difference, the only comparison is the exact opposite reflected between what others, the world, our parents, our insurance company wants FOR US and what we DECIDE FOR OURSELVES. Once the new thought comes to mind, it won’t ever be the same. This is change though. It happens as quickly as writing this sentence. Some out there may be tempted to debunk this process through imploring outside influences and they can play a role. But until an idea to change comes freely from oneself, it’s not gonna happen with great success. Certainly not without applying all array of tactics. If it does, it may be short lived. Oh, the judgment and self loathing to follow when the relapse, the failure occurs. This update on change takes any blame, shame, or fear of failure out of the equations. Ever try to tell someone what to do, or not do? To the precontemplator this approach falls on deaf ears and sometimes with an exaggeration of the fulcrum of change on the table. “You don’t want me to drink as much, watch me drink more.” Thankfully the contemplator and those preparing their action listen. I’m talking to you contemplators reading this, looking for support, confidence, a plan of action, energy to continue on your path redefining what’s next and energizing that vision into existence. You got this! Because YOU KNOW you want something different.
Preparation: The WORST! stage. Technically I prepared 5 years to become a certified personal trainer and currently just so I could use it in this story. Going from living life in blissful ignorance. Maybe the occasional breaking of a carefully constructed belief that supports the behavior. To getting a brilliant new idea that is different from what just a moment before the thought crossed your mind was nothing at all. Yes, yes! To all the helpers out there doing their best to try and guide someone to take action on a change you may have seen they should make, to them wanting to make it their own. Making something out of nothing and it can never be nothing again. Now the thought, the brilliant new idea, is made possible in the blink of an eye. Our imagination is such a wild and wonderful whirlwind of possibility. It inspires a decision. Something new and different. This requires some planning and preparation. Having previously never thought of “it”, to thinking of “it”, to actually doing something about “it”, whatever your personal “it” may be. It’s an exciting and confusing time. Getting stuck in that confusion is easy, too easy. This is where help can come in handy with a dose of insight and motivation, combined with patience and compassion for the time that can slip away in preparation. Waiting to be ready is a sand trap to be well aware of and wary of in preparation. The antidote is to take action anyway. But what action? How to do this new thing that you may have never done before, or worse, you have but it didn’t work out. No worries love! There’s a step for that!
Action. Now this is the good stuff. But according to the TTM Model or maybe that’s my training body; the American Council of Exercise - ACE for short, addition, it requires a 6 month continuous commitment to prove. That’s bullshit man! I have to do this new and different thing I’ve decided I want to do for 6 months to prove that I’m doing it? I get it. I get it. Especially if you get stuck in preparation for 5 years. It’s probably the benefit of the health coach certification getting it because sustained action on a new idea in the current modus operandi = HARD. It’s like it’s supposed to be hard and it’s just doesn’t have to be as hard as we have been making it. Do you know why it’s so hard? If you said because of your thoughts and beliefs, you get points. Which is why the experts really seem to beat the idea of having these crazy things called goals to accompany action, drilled to the core of change. The brilliant idea gets a SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time based acronym) goal. Look at me over here with my test answers still fresh in my noggin. This is really the point at which to call in the experts, the professionals, someone, anyone that has successfully done what you are just starting out to accomplish. This is not your buddy, your wife, husband, or partner, your co-worker, the person working the check-out line where you’re buying a book on the subject. A real life expert. If it’s something you want to do, there is someone out there that’s done it and in most cases will be thrilled to help you do it faster, smarter, easier. I have learned this the hard way and want to convey the importance of NOT enlisting anyone that you now know to be in the precontemplation stage to give you insight into anything in life you want to act on. If it is in the realm of rock your world change, lifestyle change, personal health, physical fitness, please reach out to someone that’s done it successfully. I am now one of those people so before you ask mom, please ask me, it’s called a success call and it’s free. I’m not the only one that does them so look for people successful in what you want to be successful at and see about talking to them. I beg you. For you. For the people you care about most. For the brilliant idea that deserves a chance to be made reality. Most of the time, and with only the best of uninformed intention, people that don’t know, instinctively say, “Wha?, Huh? Don’t do it.”
Maintenance. This is the really good stuff. The proverbial, “living the life”. Whatever started as not even an idea, became an idea. That idea was then pondered, tossed around, mulled over, and eventually prepared for to the point of action. Realizing and then actualizing = realizability. You did it! You get to say “I’m doing it”. You’re celebrating because not only did you do it, you’ve done it awhile now, and you’re still into doing it more. Making whatever “it” is to you a successful and sustained part of your life. Cheers! Yes, it takes work. Yes, it takes planning. Yes, it takes wrapping your head around a new possibility in your life. Yes, it takes seeking out others that have succeeded at what you are just starting. Yes! Yes! Yes! I love it when a plan comes together.

The TTM Stages-of-Change Model in Pictures

PRECONTEMPLATION

In full effect. This is basically the epitome of ignorant bliss. I’m sure the next days hangover was not quite as blissful. I’m not suggesting here that I don’t partake in the pictures array of delights, I have changed up the schedule from a daily activity of drugs and alcohol to more routines involving a clear head and an energized spirit.

CONTEMPLATION

The brilliant idea of something new and different can have consequences. One I had to become more comfortable with is that the idea to make a life changing move doesn’t mean the way life is now or was before is bad. Bad is a perception that definitely has negative consequences. I remember having an experience where I thought I’d made a mistake and I kept telling myself, “I feel so bad” until a couple days later I was so physically sickened I could barely get out of bed. A powerful lesson came from that painful experience; learning to be kind to myself and love myself through difficulties when they arise. The only constant is change. Contemplate that.

PREPARATION

I’m gonna say it again because I love it so much! I love it when a plan comes together. This phtoto was taken while packing a big life into a little box. It took a lot of planning and preparation but from where I sit now, thousands of miles from where this package started, I can honestly say I do love coming up with wild ideas that lift the spirit and bringing that which was but an idea into reality. Preparing is a gearing up and can take as long as it takes but it can go faster with the right support, system, and accountability on your side.

ACTION

The decision to act has been made and readied. In the midst of doing something I’ve been doing my whole life, just never quite as consistently as I would like, I now allow myself to dance with my art when the ideas flow, I now make the time and take the time to let them flow out of me. Not giving a fuck whether I unleashed my creativity a year ago or a day ago, I don’t act on the inspiration on create it and harness it. I rarely make it to the maintenance stage of painting for more than 6 months straight but I am creative almost daily and now think of it as play time for my psyche. Practicing creativity stimulates action in new and magical ways.

MAINTENANCE

This is the flow. The stage of change that is for the full embrace of accomplishment. The pat on the back. The reward of trial and error to finding success. There is a rule I will get to in a future episode on the concept of diminishing returns and how this statement seems like a big old let down. When in reality it means success has been attained. The efforts full reward received. The mountain has been climbed so therefore there is no more (of this) mountain to climb but another goal is aware of the success and ready at the gate to be unleashed. Another mountain?!? There is no such thing as one and done unless you make it a thing. Now that’s some invigorating and powerful insight to maintain. The power of our thoughts guides us either to success or failure. We get to choose. I am here as a testament choosing success.

Wikipedia likes to rain on the parade with adding “relapse” after the 5 stages. It’s not a stage but it is a very clear warning that should be taken lightly. That’s right - should be taken lightly. Relapse is probably more common than making it through the 5 stages permanently. Since this whole concept came from a personal trainer training, it’s a fair addition. Letting the stigma, fear, worry around “relapse” go, lifts the spirit to rise to a new occasion. Every time I’ve relapsed, I’ve learned. Letting the guilt and shame go has helped me better prepare, take action, and maintain more of the good stuff this one precious life has to offer, letting all the other stuff slide away that no longer serves this purpose.

I’ve learned to embrace the truth around relapse to acknowledge its importance in playing the game of change. Adopting a more zen approach, “this too shall pass” attitude with change. I used to chalk this saying up to unpleasant life occurrences, not wanting to think that the most pleasurable moments are fleeting as well. The moments are fleeting, constantly changing, and in redefining the Stages of Change model to foster success on our own terms establishes YOU as the constant. Learning from relapse, another word for failure that I now equate with staying stuck in the contemplation or preparation stage forever. Doing nothing, when your instinct is screaming at you to head into high gear is failure.

I would rather relapse a thousand times than to never have tried.

How best not to be hindered in successfully fulfilling your brilliant idea to fruition. Be more you, on your terms, and to help us all be more compassionate toward people that haven’t even contemplated a change that might very well benefit their life and well being.

If they haven’t thought of it, let it free up time and space to work on your own goals. This plan works out quite nicely for inspiring action in others. Something I love almost as much as a plan coming together is the best of both worlds - having your cake and eating eat too lifestyle. Inspiring others to strive for their own success by witnessing you accomplish yours. This might be my life’s work here 2020! Seeing someone else succeed in change can be a powerful motivator.

I just fell into an outraged tirade on relapse that quickly turned on the many creators of models that have hurt people instead of helped them. I deleted all of it for the last sentence. It also highlights 2 important things that I learned through changes I wanted to make.

The 1st was to change my life in more positive ways because I was living in anger and depression. The benefit is not that I don’t get angry, I do, but now I can see it quicker, call it out, and transform it into something more positive to get on to better stuff in life.

The 2nd is the “better stuff” can also be a trigger for relapse. Even in deleting the roaring tirade against relapse then turned to the creators of outdated health models, I was over halfway through this story and really feeling good about it when my own outdated and harmful model for myself tried to rear it’s nasty little head, “How dare you be happier now and sharing how other people can make change easier in their life!” This one is the realness.

How to better prepare ourselves to feel really good about the bright new ideas we want to energize into existence?

That feeling good about making change is a more important warning sign for relapse than the challenges that arise whenever starting something new and different and definitely should be taken seriously. Let the goodness of a bright new idea be sparked, ignited into action, energizing into existence. We are all worthy and deserving of what we want to make real in our life.

Take relapse lightly.

Take energized, giddy, joy seriously.

Little different.

The great gift is how good different can feel. I no longer try to be the way others think I should, especially if they think I should feel bad about being who I am. Reminds me that my body type doesn’t even appear on the weight to height charts from my earliest memory to just a few moments ago when I confirmed it once again with the internet.

Kicking off a 2020 vision for the future to make change easier and more fun on the daily. Acknowledging the bright ideas, contemplating trying something new, preparing, in as little time as possible. it’s only human potential here, no biggie.

Take inspired, then take empowered action.

Live it.

Change is the constant in the universe. Proof is the saying used to be death and taxes, change was never mentioned and I didn’t think about it, until I did. I may not have even believed it when I first heard about change in comparison to things in life we can count on being constant. Then suddenly, I started contemplating change and started preparing a little differently in the actions that embrace and maintain an open mind and heart to change as the future unfolds with the clear visualization of a plan coming together.

How does changing up the stages of change, change the game for you?

How does it free you from changing at all or have you thinking about a plan of action to energize into existence?

Embracing that which we imagine as a new possibility to actualization seems a great way to kick off a new year and a new decade.

Cheers!