Six months into the first and hopefully last pandemic of my life.
Riding the high of another birthday, putting me closer to actualizing this [goal worthy] statement from Mary Berry, The Great British Baking Show judge, “at this stage, I’m not afraid of being critical”.
Critical in my thinking and in honoring expertise. Which at this point include, how being an only child of the latchkey variety, makes isolation easy work, combined with a laundry list of learned and often repeated coping mechanisms to manage the onslaught 2020 is piling on thick at this point.
As usual, I’m better left to my own devices with a side of needing all the help I can get.
This message sent out from a primary care physician is one of the best things I’ve seen to address COVID-19 now - Sign of the Leo, 2020.
Receiving it both tugged at everything I’m experiencing on my birthday in 2020, and soothed my rebellious nature to continue isolating as I have been for the past 6 months.
It’s August, I’m a Leo. Wild and free to roam. Which breaks down a little something like: I do whatever the f_ck I want to do and nobody can tell me otherwise.
Until this year.
Early on in the pandemic I cancelled a visit, mutually, with a dear friend. For all the right reasons, while at the same time, especially in retrospect, a ridiculous precaution in comparison of case numbers and deaths at that point; early March, 2020.
Compared to the now over 160,000 lives taken by COVID-19.
Months later the opportunity arises again to be with best friends and I am ecstatic.
The joy cuts right through the depression.
The same depression that can sometimes cloud my thinking.
The awareness that I am having a hard enough time with my mental state to be openly blasé about it, is both progress in my honesty about how I live, and shock that sharing my honest feelings is a choice I’m very conscientiously making.
Then, the tourist town I live in asks people not to visit.
I want so desperately to see my friends. To be with them again as we once were. Sharing good times and laughter at a leisurely pace because we know we will be back together again soon.
My current level of caution is heightened because I live with my mom. The reality of this is both a loving tribute to our relationship, and a real f_cking downer. If I get this and suffer, she will suffer. If I get this and give it to her, the odds are not in her favor to survive, and I will suffer greatly if this horror of a thought, now in my conscious, should ever come true.
So I stay home. Basking sometimes in the follies of my youth. Exploration. Creative expression. Excessive tv watching, with a side of video-game playing.
I’ve gotten my mom into it too. Playing games. Reading the longer books. Cooking in the slow-cooker and not the insta-pot. Gardening to attract the butterflies and hummingbirds. Cursing the deer for destroying the bird feeders in a ravenous frenzy.
It’s still hard. Had a group chat with friends around my birthday and we created a grand scheme to get together. Travel via secluded road trip. Accompanied by another close friend living the life(!) with a parent. We’d cruise down together to visit our friends that work at home. They’re almost living the life we are. Almost. Until we factored in their kid. They are so very actively social in daycare, with case or two occurring in their immediate vacinity.
Cancelling the great road trip of 2020.
Amidst my internal conflict of both thoughts, feelings, and reality; my dad, in a total dad move, forwarded me this email from his primary care physician at the perfect time of my discontent.
Good News: this concise and thoughtful message really helped.
Starting with the emotional toll this is taking on each of us individually.
Seconded with family dynamics, reinforcing my resolve to stick close to home, for the time being.
4 Easy steps - of which, only 3 need be followed at a time.
This time in our individual to collective lives is so difficult, challenging, hard - pick-one or all. Anything to make it a little easier, taking the pressure off our actions, is welcome.
“
Dear Patients,
Our practice has been seeing a sharp increase in patients calling in with positive tests for COVID-19 and hospitalizations related to the current surge of the infection in (state omitted). We have had discussions with these patients, and it has become clear that the majority of infections in our patients could have been avoided if proper infection control practices were followed. It also has become clear that the majority of those patients were not knowingly taking chances necessarily, but it seems that they just didn't understand the proper way to follow the rules concerning the pandemic.
For that reason, I am sending an email to each of my patients to try to clarify how to avoid the coronavirus infection with the knowledge and recommendations explained a bit more clearly as well as my own recommendations.
Be Aware of Pandemic Fatigue
First of all, we should all be keenly aware of our emotional fatigue in dealing with the restriction and isolation associated with the pandemic and understand that we cannot allow that fatigue to change our good judgement going forward. This is probably the most important point of this email. The awareness also extends to the fatigue of our extended family, friends, religious congregations, and workplace where people may exert undue pressure on each of you to do things that are not prudent during the pandemic. Realize that we have many examples right now among the states of what can happen when we loosen restrictions too early or when people act like the pandemic is over.
"Family Problems"
Also, it is important that the only people that you touch or with whom you are physically close are the people who live in your household. Family or friends outside of your household are NOT included in this group. This can be particularly stressful for those of you who live alone. It is okay to gather with people, however, it must be done with proper precautions. A large portion of new clusters of infection have come from family gatherings. Remember that how a patient looks or feels has nothing to do with whether they are infected. People can be infected and asymptomatic or pre-symptomatic (meaning they are infected, but they have not yet developed the symptoms). It is important to realize that it is a greater risk to gather with family than with strangers. We naturally keep our distance from strangers, but we are more inclined to drop our guard with family and to get physically close or even hug and kiss.
Rules for Reducing the Risk of Infection
The following are a list of four basic rules. If you follow at least three of these rules at all times, you will be able to significantly reduce your risk of contracting COVID-19:
Always social distance. AT LEAST six feet.
Always wear a mask if you will encounter people outside of your household. If you are walking in your neighborhood and you can stay far away from other people, a mask is not necessary, but any time you may find yourself even remotely close to another person outside your household, you should have a mask on. Always keep a mask with you.
Avoid enclosed spaces where you are exposed to people outside of your household. In enclosed spaces, air currents are fairly constant due to the air-conditioning systems in rooms and buildings (breezes outdoors are more random and will disperse the virus). If a person or persons who are infected are present with you in an enclosed space, where you are in the room is important. If you are "up-wind" of the infection, this is safer. If you are "down-wind" of the infection, you are in a bad spot. However, since you never know who is infected and who is not, there is no way to know where the safest spot may be. Additionally, when it comes to enclosed spaces, the number of people gathered in that space changes the equation. Few people in a big space-- lower risk. Conversely, Lots of people in a smaller space--higher risk.
Avoid increased exposure time. Based on data from health care workers, the greater exposure time one has with an infected person, the greater the risk of contracting the infection. For this reason, exposure time is minimized in COVID wards in hospitals. Workers go in to see a patient, do what they have to do, and then leave the room. Even with full PPE (which is not foolproof) risk of infection increases with time of exposure. The less time you spend in proximity to people outside your household, the lower the risk.
As an example of using the above four rules to go to the grocery store:
You are in an enclosed space, however, you wear a mask, you social distance, and you get your groceries quickly and leave. The store is also a large space, so if you try and go when it is less crowded your risk is lower. Even if there was an unknown COVID-positive person in the store, since everyone is moving about the store to shop, your time exposed to any one individual is minimized.
A couple of examples of maintaining the above rules:
If there is a lunchroom at work where the employees gather to eat, you may want to go out for lunches, or if you bring your lunch to work, you may want to eat at your desk (if it is in an isolated space) or in your car.
If you want to see extended family or friends (outside of your household) you can gather in the backyard or front yard with masks and social distancing. Have separate tables for food and drinks. DO NOT hug, kiss, or get closer than six feet.
It is also important that the people who are in your household that you are close to also follow the above precautions because if just one person in the household is not being careful, the entire household is at risk. Remember that when you come into close contact with a person, you are potentially coming into contact with all the other people they have come into contact with.
Positive COVID-19 tests and exposures
If you are tested and are found to be COVID-19 positive or if you have come in contact with someone who has tested positive, please call our office and we will be glad to help you. We can explain all of the quarantine rules you will need to follow as well as rules for your household.
I am hoping that this email finds you well and clarifies some of the confusing aspects of how we all should act in community to keep ourselves safe and also look out for the health of our families and neighbors.
Blessings,
(Doctor’s name omitted to protect privacy)
”
A couple things that stand-out inspirationally in this message, beyond the thoughtfulness:
The genuine care and concern this doctor has for their patients.
That the doctor starts off with addressing “pandemic fatigue” and family problems first.
With great relief, illuminating that I am not alone, which fatigue and depressed feelings so often trick me into believing.
That, and wanting to get out of this somehow because I have never had to take things like this into consideration. Yes, the spoiled brat of an only child of divorced parents is bummed because they aren’t getting their way.
Wanting desperately for COVID-19 to, and I’ll use Donald Trump on repeat, saying “this will just disappear” as my example of tragic denial. It won’t just disappear for America and having reminders to help get through this is a must.
I want for us all to be safe and reminders to remain vigilant are better shared.
Stay safe out there my friends and be well.
